I’m having one of those weeks. The kind that was supposed to be busy and productive and fun, but has very clearly become one of those ‘survive a moment at a time’ weeks. The kind of week where I wonder how, oh how, I manage to ever get anything done as a mother with two little ones. And not ‘grand life goal type’ things done. Oh no, more like, how am I supposed to get dinner cooked and laundry done. And the sheer mess! As soon as one mess is cleaned, I turn around and there’s another giant mess. At least during weeks like this it feels that way.
I generally try and keep things positive around here, as I’m sure you (and I) don’t want to dwell on all my frustrations. I choose to live this kind of lifestyle and, truly and honestly, I love it most of the time. Most of the time the same messes and time scheduling challenges are present, but we manage to have a lot of fun despite it all; I manage to help the kids as they go about their busy little lives; I manage to chip away at my own interests and goals a little bit at a time. Aaron and I do our best to try and prioritize everyone’s interests and needs in our family. I’m no martyr mommy. Really I’m not. Most of the time I enjoy my life and I get to do plenty of things I love. And for the most part on most days, it all goes well.
Oh, but those weeks! The weeks where clearly I need a couple days alone in the woods, hermit style. When really that’s what would fix my attitude. And well, that kind of fix just isn’t very feasible as a breastfeeding mom of a teething little one.
Those weeks! You know the kind, don’t you?
Thankfully they’re not forever. Eventually the feeling of flow returns and my attitude shifts. Eventually the baby sleeps better. Eventually we find our way back to our family rhythm. Eventually. Nothing is constant. It’s always changing. And none of it is forever. Even those precious sibling moments that make my heart swell. And even those moments where I quite literally have to shut the door to my room and remind myself to breathe so I don’t throw a fit too. And then twenty minutes later, do it all over again.
Oh I so know “those weeks”. I hope it passes quickly for you. I, too, have chosen this life I lead and love most of it most of the time, but we are allowed to have “those times”, it keeps me pointed in the right direction.
Hope the weeks get better from here.
Thanks. I’m sure it will
Bless your heart! I feel for you. I saw lots of “I manage” comments in your post. That’s exactly what it feels like! Sometimes the load is a lot to carry and we need a breather to regroup and come back feeling refreshed. Hang in there, dear. And all you might need to do to fix this feeling is get 20 min. to yourself and I’m sure you’ll be missing those precious kids again. That’s always what happens for me, at least! :) It’s a vicious cycle sometimes, this mothering is. Draw yourself a hot bath and relax. This too shall pass. XXX
I got 40 minutes alone at the library. So luxurious to browse the adult stacks alone in the quiet! They did seem much sweeter when I came back;)
Amber…I can relate fully and heartily. Moment by moment, day by day. Some days I just want to cry because it feels so overwhelming and the next minute I am smiling through my tears at one of their silly faces. We are doing hard work, always remember that. It’s OK to not always love our work, to get burned out, to need a break. We are human. 40 mins in the library sounds devine!!! Glad you got that time. Sending you a big mama hug. XO
ah yes, those weeks, those days, those moments. glad to see you got a little breather at the library (one of my favorite places to “escape” for a bit- i’d say woods, library, and thrift store are the top three). it’s these times when there’s an *extra* appreciation for having supportive and active grammie and gramps, right!?
Yes! I am so often grateful for having involved family nearby.